Thursday, March 19, 2009
I'm all over the place.
I'm the biggest loser of all, cause my life is totally dependent on theirs. It's times like this, all I want is to grow up and walk away. I'll always have this debt that I cannot clear, even if I repaid every cent spent on me. Their time and effort I cannot repay.
It's reasons like this I don't want to have children/family, like what my econs teacher said last year, "Children are the worst investments.". All you do is give and never quite have returns.
Life is a total bore now. I'm either in school singing/ studying or at home studying/ doing nothing. Nothing special happens to me. Blame it on my almost negligable proactiveness. The only highlight of my life now is like ARROW. I know lah. I never read the bible, not spiritual, not close to God lah. Shut up already. Listening to sermons has gotten so boring. I canoot stand my life now Abba. It's a routine of boring-ness. It's a life without you as the main picture. Is there any other way? A moment of spiritual high is not what I'm looking for.
Oh wait, I'm suppose to look at myself. Look at Jesus. yeah. He's awesome and good.
I'm just so bored. BORED. BORED BORED BORED BORED. BORED. BORED. It's a horrible sense of SIAN-sation.
Tomorrow's going to be one heaven of a day. I really can't wait for saturday.
I really don't look forward to sundays anymore. Tuition. nothing against my tuition teacher (since she's well my cousin). I just hate the fact that my life is all about studying now. I know JC... what a bloody reason to study. I thought my life's suppose to be more then this? I know ice-cream and chocolate cakes won't fulfill the emptiness I'm feeling. What the heck, at least it does for as long as the cake lasts.
Jesus, thank you for something extremely interesting that happens to me. Something that might destroy my life, whatever. Just something.
